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Conventional Parenting or Convenient Parenting?

Kids bring with them new skylines of experiences. Any seasoned parent can tell that life before kids & life after kids are not similar at all.

Conventional terms of parenting would certainly guide any parent to present their best performance as a parent through:

  • Disciplines about kid’s diet & vaccines
  • Kid’s learnings & studies
  • Various physical developments, such as motor development (gross or fine)
  • Cognitive development
  • Emotional development

Parents can hire services of professionals to help for raising their kids. But no professional can tell any parent the accurate means of spending quality time with kids. Every kid is unique & parents should not limit the happiness of their kids according to the perspectives of a few hired professionals. Professionals, who are not parents or friends of your kid. Professionals are only telling acquired skills. 

This article will present seven unusual but convenient ideas for parents, who wish to spend quality time with their kids above aged 5.

Convenient parenting

Parents & kids are allowed to behave human (not ideals)

Parents have to mix a personal touch when it is a matter of nurturing precious kids. Mechanically serving kids according to the system of conventional parenting in this ever-changing world is not sufficient for the needs of a growing child. 

Any thoughtful parent would surely discover soon during the journey of raising kids, the requirement to interact personally with kids. A sensible parent would acknowledge the fact that kids are theirs, not of systems produced.  

The ideas suggested in this write-up are not an approved document by any professional. This is a general discussion between an eager writer & willing readers. Parenting is in any way an unprofessional job. Any adult who could conceive a child naturally becomes a parent.

In the journey of evolving as a proficient parent there comes a series of milestones. Any receptive parent would regret if knowingly or unknowingly ignores any milestone of the kid’s upbringing.

There is various professional help available for keen parents yet personalized looking after the child can never be replaced by any professional help. Parents can only take assistance from nutritionists, physicians, consultants, specialists. 

Still, upbringing is a responsibility retained by the parents. This responsibility can turn itself into a great joy when the interests of kids & parents are harmonized.

Given below are seven ideas that might ease the pressure of parenting. These are practical means to achieve a child’s happiness & prosperity:   

1) Become a little transparent

Most parents portray an ideal image of themselves in front of kids. There is a common concept that parents should be role-models for kids. We hear advice such as “parents should hide their flows from kids; otherwise, kids won’t idealize their parents.” To achieve that so-called ideal state parents deliberately hide their mistakes, which is so unnatural for any sensible kid. Kids are not fools, they can understand that their parents are humans & humans are inseparable from committing mistakes.

It would be wonderful when kids & parents both are allowed to commit mistakes. Kids & parents both are permitted to commit blunders. In this manner, kids would discover that their parents are similar to them. 

  • Their parents are also prone to committing mistakes. 
  • Their parents are also learning & learning is a continuous process. 
  • Their parents also become sad, happy, or upset. 
  • The parents are also having their inclination for any liking or dislike. 
  • The parents are living the life of an individual…

The kids will now idealize their parents more sensibly. This way they will learn from their own mistakes as well as their parent’s mistakes. Also, the kids will become far more confident & aware of their self-being.  

Make kids aware of your moderate emotions. Any loving parent would not want to put their child under situations of stress. We are discussing here to develop a relationship with kids, in which parents are not ideal perfect soles for kids. Parents who continue their natural behaviors are more pleasant for kids.

Kids would not hesitate in front of imperfect parents. Kids would find a resemblance in parents, they will appreciate the fact that learning is a continuous process kids are not alone who are suffering the process of learning. 

2) Let kids manifest their emotions

Feelings are for everyone. Kids are also small human-beings. Kids are not part & parcels of their parents. They are individual separate humans. Do not prevent kids from expressing emotions. Appreciate when your child shows gestures of emotions. Encourage kids when they feel sorry for any blunder. When kids confess to their mistakes, a good parent would support the kid suitably. 

Similarly, their happiness, sadness, anger, turn-offs, turn-ons all do matter a lot for their well-being. Parents who do not care about the emotional needs of their kids can never befriend kids.

Sadly general parents assume that kids know only what they are told by their teachers or parents. This is a partial truth, the whole probity is that kids are by default programmed toward certain subtle emotions. 

Emotions, which are exhibited by kids are spontaneous. Never judge the emotions of innocent children by the measures of so-called sophisticated & fabricated emotions expressed by adults. The emotions of kids are pure & need to be conserved. 

When a parent supports emotional needs sensibly, kids will uncover a best friend in the supporting parent.      

3) Play with your kids

Kids naturally are programmed to play. Boring lethargic parents would edge their kids behind the boundaries of slothfulness. Kids want to be active. They hope for enthusiasm in their parents. They want a positive response when they ask their parents to play with them.

When parents stay disinterested in the play setup of little kids unknowingly they disappoint their kids. Little kids might not explain their setback but they would sulk the fact that their parents stay indifferent toward their activities. The likings of your kids might not appeal to you but still, it has to be your responsibility to accompany your kids when they need you.

Children love to run unintentionally. You may run after them or make them chase you. Or can play hide & seek. But stay alert about the safety of kids while playing. At times kids may get injured also while playing. Keep reminding them & yourself that being hurt or injuries are a part of growing up.

Ask them simple riddles or crack jokes with them. Interact with your kids through means of various indoor games. Snakes & ladders, ludo, chess, carrom, or any other specific game of yours & kids interest can help you to develop a bond with your kids. While playing keep chit-chatting.

Compete with them in completing your daily tasks & their school assignments. The winner may get a chocolate bar or a scoop of ice cream. This type of game will motivate your kids to accomplish their projects, assignments better.

4) Let kids be a little messy

Kids do hate disciplines. In school, they have to obey decorum but at home, they want to be themselves. Kids need their space to relieve their ideal images of a decent child.  They need some time to relax from overwhelmed manners & etiquette. If a parent could acknowledge this very need of children, the child would be more than happy. Kids want to live some moments of clumsiness. They like to break rules once in a while. 

On holidays they can be allowed to play in the soiled backyard, or a dry food fight on the carpet. Such playful activities allowed by parents would be like a refreshing helping hand for the process of unwinding hard shells of a nice-decent child. This “unfolding” for a while, would preserve the childhood of the kid for longer periods.

5) Do involve your kids in your daily routine

# Assign kids with tiny-nominal daily chores. 

# Ask them to put something in a drawer or ask them to serve a glass of water for guests. 

# Let them pile up their books by themselves. Ask them to help clean the mess after they play. 

# let them arrange their school bags.

# While preparing meals ask for a few nominal help from them as whisking-mixing ingredients. 

# Let them set tableware before meals, bigger than eight years kids can also help in cleaning dishes or clothes.

# Take them with you for shopping. 

# If possible ask kids to carry shopping bags.

# Occasionally let them go to the local grocery store to get daily essentials. 

*Do watch them for their safety while all the above-mentioned tasks*

When we perform our tasks within the partnership of our kids they will certainly identify your concerns. This is a great way of positive communication.

6) Do assist your kids when they want

Do not let your kids wait for their turn. If you care for your kids you would be available to them when they need you. Parents who make their kids wait for long periods for even minor concerns ultimately lose their kids. 

Most parents have an attitude to mold their kids as per their priority. Remind yourself that your kids are not part & parcel of your personality. They are individual souls. When your kids desperately need your presence, do put aside your time-table for a while.

Your kids should always top your priority list. After all, they are living entities. They are not just responsibilities of some kind.

Not only physically, but kids need a psychological presence also to feel secure. An aloof parent might induce an emotion of loneliness in any kid. Never behave detached with the matters of kids. Their matters mean a lot in their little innocent world. Show your keenness to support your kids. In matters of their interest.     

7) Discuss with your kids your problems (if any) 

Do not hide your image of a common person. Never pretend in front of your children any false image of a superhero or superwomen. Show them clearly your true personality. 

Talk with them about your financial, emotional, social, psychological, problems. This would not lessen their affection.

*) They will feel involved with you. 

*) They will also learn from your experiences. 

*) They can also suggest innovative new ideas to tackle your problem. 

*) They will help you confront your problem.

Parenting is not a challenge. Eliminate rules guide for some while & watch your kids as your childhood’s reflections. Then you won’t need any advice to deal with your kids. You will see yourself moving in front of you in the aura of your kid.

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